The End to the Dec Review Drama

So how was it? Umm... interesting. "Interesting" is what my father says when my mother cooks something he doesn't care for. Reviews are something necessary and valuable, but no one says "wow, when can we do that again- that was great."

The set up that Hannah and I created was the best possible in order for me to feel as comfortable as I can be in these situations and I'm really grateful that it was an option. For me to not give in to my urge to bail which would have been bad for everyone, I really needed the understanding and support which i received :)

I was really worried about timing because in both practices I had stopped to ask questions during it and had no idea if my timing would be off. It turned out just fine- I ended at 20 min 11 sec.

I have mixed feelings about the comments. Some seemed helpful and it was interesting to see what was taken away by people that aren't me. However, I felt some comments were unrealistic and if I followed them I'd be sacrificing quality strictly for conceptual reasons, which I am not willing to do... ever.

The first comment I received referred to the tattoo lamp and referenced how in the holocaust they killed jews in a specific way so that they could be skinned and their skin used for lamps since their skin was tattooed. There was an awkward silence as they waited for my reaction. I am politically and historically retarded, so I'm not surprised that I had no knowledge of this. I think it's an important thing to be aware of but I feel that the artistic choices I made made it obvious that I was not making a statement about that and I think that's ok. I did search for other tattoo lamps while I was making mine and I'm not the first person to make a lamp like this since the Nazi's. If my audience thinks I'm a Nazi I suppose I'll have to deal with that but I have no desire to make a statement about the holocaust. I believe that the majority of people would not think of the holocaust when viewing my work.

A comment was made questioning my photo choices that I used in my slides. I had good reasons for my choices and since the comment only referred to my work previous to the start of the term, I am trying to forget it was said. I made my choices in order to have clarity and use time wisely so that I could get to the more important issue- my IP project. Let's stay productive shall we? You need to when you only have 20 minutes to explain a college career that started in 2003!

I continually heard things like "you're playing it too safe" or "you're not taking any risks" or "you're not letting yourself be vulnerable." I've found that if a work is too personal, you get asked to verbally explain it more but the more personal you make your work, the more uncomfortable yo are with answering any questions. If I could ship my work to a gallery and have it viewed with no explanation, I'd gladly make work that disturbs and confuses you all. However, that's not going to happen in this setting of academia because silence is not an option. Right now I'm straddling that line of making work that is meaningful to me and my existence but doesn't dig too deep. I guess it's a choice I have to think about.

I was asked why I'm making work about myself and yet I'm not the one in the photographs. The answer: I considered that and found it to be impossible. I cannot be a model and a photographer. I have no desire to do self portraits, and I loathe trying to direct someone else to capture my vision- I'm too picky and I want the visual control besides the fact that if I don't take the photos I don't feel like it's even my own work. With tattooing in particular- I do not have money to spend getting tattooed at this point in time. My camera takes 2 hands to operate and when you're getting tattooed you're too focused on trying breathe and trying not to move so that you don't have messed up artwork on you for the rest of your life. I'm not going to accidentally move while being tattooed because I was trying to take a picture. Not happening people.

I was extremely happy to hear Lisa's suggestions as far as materials other than that this particular film is hard to find and expensive...

I'm curious to read the written comments in order to see the whole picture instead of the few things that were shared in the moment.

So that's my longer version of "it was fine" with an expression of horror on my face.

WEEK 12

WHAT I DID: I finished my first lamp. yay finally. I got lots of feedback including two small group crits. I heard a lot of good feedback about things to incorporate in my second try. I feel good about it because I thought it was a good first attempt, but I definitely wasn't happy with it. I felt changes needed to be made that I couldn't pin-point. Things that I thought were problems other people confirmed these intuitions for me. I am excited to try again but frustrated that I don't have a clear idea of what I want to include in my new design. I keep looking at lamps online but haven't seen any that include elements I would want to have in the lamp i'm currently working on. Here's some lamps I like:






WHAT I DISCOVERED: That I have things about this lamp that I'm willing to change and things that I'm not. Some of the suggestions I got I really didn't like and thought they ruined my original concept. I'm going to stick to my guns and I'm ok with that- there are still a lot of things that i agree need to be changed. I have a very limited experience constructing 3D objects and everytime I do I learn a little bit more about what mistakes I made and what tools I should use/what's available. For one thing, the shade wobbles because I drilled the hole for the lamp nipple too large. Oops- won't make that mistake again. As far as the shade and the painting- I chose paint because I feel comfortable working with it and I chose canvas because I knew I could paint on it. Those were not the right choices for the effect I originally wanted. I guess you don't kow these things until you try it though.

WHAT'S NEXT: Since I don't have a clear idea of how I want to redo the lamp (which is super annoying because I'm running out of time.... aaahhhhhhhh!) I've started brainstorming different shapes which either sit on a table or hang on a wall and use wood, metal, and shade. What I really need to do next is a material test. I need different fabrics and I need to experiment on them with things like ink instead of paint and see how each one looks when illuminated. I have no money at the moment so I may have to wait until I can buy some materials to do this. However, this would be a good thing to do while I'm deciding on the shape. I've included some sketches of different shapes and I'm sure there will be more- there's just too many options. Here's a few sketches:


ERICA: I looked for you in the studios 3 times yesterday and couldn't find you- I should've just talked to you right away- i'm a dummy. Anyways I hear you're into fabrics so if you have fabric suggestions for shades let me know. I'm looking for something that will hold paint or ink, has a higher thread count, and has some give to it so it can be stretched over a frame without perfect sewing. Any suggestions of things to try?

Here's my lamp- try #1: The first pic is without any diffusion material which made the painting look horrible :(

week 11

Funky lamps that inspire me: uploading the pics isn't working for some reason. it shows up as html and an error message. i
ll keep trying.

What i did: this week i shared my new project idea with peers who brought up some good questions and feedback. I found myself doing a lot of things I had done for the other project as far as searching inspirational pictures and thinking about what topics i really want to include in the finished product. I've been working on making the first lamp but it's been going much slower than i originally anticipated. I always think things are simple and don't include time for things going wrong or forget about things like glue having to set overnight but not being able to figure out the next part until the current step is finished. These things always happen when you havent done something before, but somehow i always forget. I have parts of the base done- covered, painted, but they aren't assembled together yet. I've made the frame for the shade in the woodshop which took a few hours. I've stretched canvas over it so I can paint on it. That was a big trial and error mountain to climb. Since the frame is a weird shape and i don't sew, and canvas isn't stretchy... i had a hard time. I debated having my mom help me put darts in it which wasn't how i wanted it to look. I finally figured out how to cut it the right shape so it would work but it took like 8 hours just to figure that one thing out and its far from perfect.

what i discovered: that i'm a dumbass and i always am able to get done less than i had hoped and then i'm disappointed in myself. This week confirmed for me something that happened last year when i made lamps- that each lamp may have to be made more than once. Last year my first tries were horrible failures that didnt look good and didnt function well. However, my second attempts were so much better than it was worth it to do everything twice. I suspect this is the case for IP. After each lamp is produced I need to get feedback and then assess whether to leave it, modify it, or try again. I'm ok with this because I enjoy this kind of work and am really passionate about what i'm doing.

what's next: i need to finish this lamp to the best of my ability so people can tell me how to fix it or redo it. I'm not really sure what's after that.

WEEK 10

WHAT I DID: Last Fri I did a photo shoot and got what I wanted to capture. I'll be adding it to my portfolio. These photos are posted above. I couldn't muster up the courage to go back into the Harley dealership with a camera. I met with a biker from the HOG charter and talked to him about himself and the project.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: I hate this. It totally sucks. Biker Dave was a really nice guy. I learned a lot about him and the biker world. But, I was uncomfortable and wishing it was over the whole time. As for photographing him- in order to get him doing his hobbies in a timely manner it was unavoidable that I would have to go out of town to a house in the middle of nowhere to be alone with a guy who is 3 times my size and owns guns and my conscious told me that was not a good idea. I emailed the class to see if anyone would go with me and no one volunteered. I'm not blaming them- I know how busy everyone is and I would've felt uncomfortable even if I had someone with me. I know not every situation would be this dramatic, but it got me thinking about how a huge portion of this project is spent thinking about who to get, finding people, getting people to meet me which is around their schedule, getting them to talk to me, setting up a shoot on their schedule, and only spending an hour or two per person actually making images. This is not how I want to spend my time. I've been dreading this thing called my IP project and that's not how I want to feel about it. It was too much all about other people and not fun for me at all. If this project should be one thing it should be fun- at least sometimes :)

WHAT'S NEXT: I've changed my project. I picked something that was about me, that I would enjoy every second working on it and is for the most part not dependent on other people. And how do I feel you ask? Relieved. Excited. Nervous. Nervous because I feel like every project idea I had in the beginning wasn't good enough because it didn't have some world purpose or deep meaning that I could ramble on about. I am one of few words and no project that I enjoy making will come with that ability. That's not what art is about to me. I get inspired by visual elements and it's these visual elements that are the main motivation for my art making. So for my project I'm going to do a series of 5-10 (I haven't decided yet) photo sets. Each one will be about a different thing that is personally important to me or inspires me visually. I will also be making a lamp to go along with each photo set inspired by that topic or the photos themselves. One of the photo shoots I had set up for my last project is still relevant to the new project so that's still happening. This week I'll be working on the first lamp, the new project statement and thinking about how to progress- either making sketches for another lamp or setting up a photo shoot.

Website

Here's the website I've been working on. I'm still not sure about the project statement and participation paragraph. If anyone has suggested wording or suggestions about other things having to do with the site please let me know. Thanks a bunch

http://www.wix.com/laurenno/photo

WEEK 9

WHAT I DID: I had the flu :( but am feeling better and feeling ready to work. I finished the website but would like to revise the writing of the project statement before I start spreading it around. I think I have too many photos on it also and may reduce the number of galleries/try to have only the photos i'm the most proud of on it. I had a meeting yesterday with a girl in IP about participating in my project. I wasn't sure I wanted to use people in IP, but it has been suggested that I talk to her multiple times, so why not? I really enjoyed our conversation and I'm looking forward to photographing her. The girl I've been trying to photograph agreed to shoot the first photograph this afternoon and luckily it's sunny so I'm in good shape. I totally thought I wasn't going to get a response from the biker charter, but yesterday I finally did. I received an email with a name and a phone number of an interested member. I mustered my guts together and called him last night. He seemed really nice and excited and agreed to meet me for lunch on Tuesday to talk about the project. He said he is going to become the president of the charter in January and would probably be riding his harley to our meeting, so I'll come with a camera and hopefully get a few good shots right off the bat. I was kind of disappointed that he doesn't have a day job, but maybe I'll find something else non-harley related about him without too much trouble.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: That this project isn't a bad idea (which i have wondered about from time to time) but that it may turn out to be different than I originally imagined. I know that that happens a lot with art projects, but it's kind of hard to deal with internally. There's an element of feeling out of control which goes against my personality a little bit. At this moment in time I'm thinking it's unlikely I'll use crazy set ups of artificial colored lights and what not, but I still may use traditional studio set ups sometimes. I need to get familiar with what equipment is available to me. Right now the calendar is my friend- I'm trying to schedule things and have ideas of how to do productive things associated with my project in between. I've felt really busy these past few weeks, but not enough of it was IP related it seems to me so I'm trying to move forward and be better about time management. Time feels like it's moving so fast right now. I'm happy to finally move along with a first connection- it makes me feel like I haven't failed.

WHAT'S NEXT: Taking some goddamn pictures finally! I'll always be looking for new people/ new ways to make connections, but I know I need to be taking pictures too so hopefully the project keeps progressing where both happen simultaneously. After I make a few changes to the website I'll post the link here.

week 8

wow yeah so i got wrapped up in halloween festivities with my family and posting a blog totally slipped my mind... oops.

WHAT I DID: I spent like 8 hours or more working on getting a website up. i've had conversations with both peers, professors, and family and everyone felt that walking up to someone and asking them to participate in my project is very awkward and ineffective. i knew it is a high stress thing for me and i don't do well in those situations. so long story short, i'm working on getting up a website which includes my photography portfolio, a short bio, a project statement, clarity on what participating involves, contact info, etc. so that not only can i connect to people electronically, but if i meet someone in person i'm interested in i can refer them to the website where they can learn about me, see my work, think about participation, etc. i think this will establish somewhat of a comfort level which is important. i suck at websites and i don't have any money, so i looked for a site that hosts for free and has easy building tools. slightly after that, my old computer which has my photo archive i.e. my entire portfolio died. i spent the next few days with the IT people trying to see if it can be fixed/recovering my files. it is now six feet under, but thankfully i did get my old photos back and had gotten a new computer last year which makes it possible for my life to go on.

WHAT I DISCOVERED/DIDNT DO: people are not reliable. they get sick, blow you off, don't answer your messages. i was super naive to think the first 2 people i asked, even after one said "she was committed" would work out in a timely fashion. therefore, we have a crit on thurs and i do not yet have any photos. i'm sure my website will be done by then and i could get feedback on that possibly- i'm not sure if that's ok. i've set up meetings this week with 2 people whom i hope will participate, but i'm a little down, so i don't expect anything. maybe i will change this whole thing to self portraits... kidding- or am i?

WHAT'S NEXT: that timeline i made before is totally worthless. it was a good idea to make one, but in my situation it doesn't seem practical. i'm really hoping i get to do a photo shoot of someone this week. i definitely will finish the website, start posting the link in different places, emailing large groups the link etc. and reach a lot more people very quickly so that i can get serious responses instead of someone saying ok becausee i'm standing there asking with puppy dog eyes. ugh.

week 7

WHAT I DID: NOT A LOT! but i always feel like i didn't do enough. i thought i would connect with people aka find subjects to photograph over break but i didn't. i spent like an hour contemplating what to put on my timeline draft, and then another hour writing it out, then scribbling out parts and moving them around, then staring at it and wondering if i can actually accomplish what's on there or if I'm being lazy and should add more, then typing it up. hi- I'm Lauren, the professional worrier- nice to meet you. I spent studio time talking to people and explaining my project. I've been getting very different feedback about who my subjects should be. In response to this feedback i decided that for my December review I'd like to get through the whole process with 2 people. if it turns out to be more that's great. I'm going to start with a girl I've seen before who is a similar age and will be open to modeling. I've talked to her once before this project, about myself- not her and she is not in IP. I set up an interview with her tomorrow. since I've seen her before i already know what my first impression photo will be and through talking to her I'll find out what the second photo will be. this is the method i originally planned to use when i thought of the idea. the second person i use i hope will be an older male outside of the school environment and i plan to do my method in reverse. this means i seek out someone with a specific hobby, then find out another aspect of them, possibly their day job if they aren't lucky enough to do their hobby for a living- but this is a more difficult task to pull off. I felt guilty for being too chicken shit to seek out someone during break, so today i mustered up some bravery and went into the Harley-Davidson dealer!!! i know i look like i could be a biker sometimes, but I'm not so it is a really big deal. i guess i did do some things in the last 2 days- yay for guilt.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: i discovered that talking to strangers IS scary. but i knew that. it's not as scary as it is in my mind, but it's still scary. I'm pretty sure it was obvious i was nervous. they were pretty nice to me for the most part. most of the staff said they'd be willing to get their portraits taken and gave me their business cards so i can explain further via email. i had a couple guys who immediately said "no,no, no I'm not photogenic" ha ha. here's what i hate about this kind of stuff:
-when you try to explain your project and people just stare at you funny and then go "why would you want to do that?" which happened with the owner.
-when people project onto you what they think you're project should be such as "ooohhhh you know what would be soooooo cool? if you got us all in a row and did like a big group shot!" because i don't want the job of bursting the bubble of the people who are willing to help me with my project by saying "no, that's not what i want- you don't get it."
The owner said he would be willing to participate but kind of acted like "why can't you just take my picture now, and then it's done" he looked at me like I'm insane when i said i wanted to meet with the same person 3 different times.
I guess he leads meetings of people who are into harleys and there's a meeting this Sunday. He said it wouldn't be appropriate for me to come but said he would ask if there was anyone interested in participating in my project which is awesome. if i got someone who is super into bikes but has a totally different day job - that would be exactly what I'm looking for.
so here's the problems:
-I have a man speaking for me that doesn't really have any understanding of the project i want to do, but he's reaching out to a group i wouldn't have access to if i hadn't met him.
-i have all these biker mechanics who are totally willing to participate (i think) and might be confused/disappointed if i never use them. It's possible that if i explain the project further via email that they won't be interested anymore though... but unless i get a club person or search another venue i might not have the liberty to be choosy.
-lots of people thought maybe i should immerse myself in a subculture and reveal that though they look similar, they are very different people. that wasn't my original idea, but this biker world seems like a rich environment, and when i left the place i had this feeling like picking just one person to represent the biker stereotype is kind of unfair. my favorite novel was written by a photojournalist who did her Harvard senior thesis on strippers... i like strippers but spending 4 months photographing them seemed the opposite of appealing. When i met these guys today, i felt excited and intrigued, and REALLY REALLY AWKWARD. hopefully whatever my project manifests into i get more comfortable with it otherwise it'll be miserable.

HERE'S MY TIMELINE: which I'm sure will change :)

10/22-10/26 Make contact with two subjects

Interview subject 1

10/27-11/2 Interview subject 2

Shoot 1^st photo for subject 1

11/3-11/9 Shoot 1^st photo for subject 2

Plan & prepare for 2^nd photo for subject 1

11/10-11/16 Shoot 2^nd photo for subject 1

Plan & prepare for 2^nd photo for subject 2

11/17-11/23 Shoot 2^nd photo for subject 2

Review and edit all photos

11/24-11/30 Print all photos

Prepare presentation

12/01-12/07 Continue preparing presentation

Practice presentation

12/08-12/14 Meet with subjects to give prints as gift

Continue practicing presentation

WHAT'S NEXT: my meeting with subject 1 tomorrow, emailing the Harley store owner so he has my contact information and waiting to see if i get replies after the Sunday meeting. If not, then emailing the employees a project explanation and hoping to get volunteers. also, scheduling and shooting the first portrait of my 1st subject. SEE LAUREN TALK TO STRANGERS... NOW SEE LAUREN FOLLOW HER HANDY DANDY SCHEDULE...........

what a mood I'm in...........

week6

WHAT I DID: This week was the first week where I didn't go out and shoot pictures. I focused on thinking about my idea and my proposal. I got a lot of feedback from my family and other students. This week was a lot of thinking and wondering which feels slightly unproductive, but is also necessary sometimes. I'm the person who thinks and thinks and feels like it's not getting me anywhere, and then while I'm doing something unrelated like taking a shower or cleaning my apartment, a light bulb goes on and it all makes sense. That's kind of what happened with deciding my idea- I was so frustrated, and then one day it made sense.
WHAT I DISCOVERED through the thinking this week is that my proposal was fairly clear. It seemed that it was easily understood, and liked- I didn't have anyone that didn't get it, didn't like it, or didn't understand it. The feedback I got was a lot of questioning about what I expect or want to happen in different scenarios. Since my project is dependent on the participation of other people, there is a lot of curiousity about "what if they don't want to participate?" or "what if you don't get what you need?" or questions I haven't figured out yet like who I want my subjects to be and what I'm going to ask them. I made a list of potential questions but that will continue to change I'm sure.
WHAT'S NEXT: At this point I've done all the thinking I can handle at the moment. It's time to get back to the doing while I wait for that lightbulb to turn on in the shower. It's hard to account for time spent thinking- because it never stops. I wake up in the middle of the night and thats what I'm thinking about. I chose this project because it's something that's very interesting to me, but it's way outside of my comfort zone to talk to people I don't know. I hope that this project will help me grow as a person and get over my fears, but it's possible that I won't be able to make myself do this and end up changing or modifying the project. I hope that trying to push myself turns out to be rewarding, even if I plan to take 5 steps and end up only taking 2. It's time to attempt to talk to a couple people and see how it goes. That is my weekend homework.

Here are some creative portraits I like that I found this week:

By Philippe Roy

By Simon Green
By Igor Motl
By Annie Leibovitz from her "Stars in Wonderland" series

week5

WHAT I DID: This week I wanted to continue exploring images that were still in my head which are the photos in the previous post titled "night photography." I took those of the Huron River at night. I thought putting the ring of glow bracelets under the water would create more of a blurred glow effect, but it didn't. I also made word lists and mind maps of interests in an attempt to figure out a subject matter that stands out to me. I think the process was healthy for me but I did not have that all important moment of clarity. I received my book "Night and Low-Light Photography: Professional Techniques from Experts for Artistic and Commercial Success" by Jill Waterman. This book has a lot of great advice in it from techniques and equipment to things like bringing plastic shower caps to cover equipment and a good book for long exposure times :) My project will not focus around this type of photography, but it may be included or I would be interested in exploring this on my own either now of after graduation so it is a good resource to have living on my bookshelf. WHAT I DISCOVERED: I discovered that I am interested in many things that are not related at all. They could be related if I chose to make them, but that desire does not exist yet. I learned that there are many things to explore but I may not be ready to focus on them for this project. I have felt really lost this whole time as far as content. During my conversation with Shay I was talking nonstop about how lost I am, how frustrated etc. and maybe I just needed to get that off my chest more than I already have to other people. Sometimes I discover things when I'm thinking out loud and the act of having someone sitting silently and just listening helps me somehow work things out in my head. She asked me what photo work I've done in the past. I responded by saying "oh just a lot of journalistic stuff of people I'm not attached to in high school and a lot of pretty but meaningless abstract stuff in college, except for this one project...." and in the description and discussion of this particular project I discovered a subject that is really close to me. This solution includes both in the moment, journalistic portraits, and the potential for more creative, fabricated situations and lighting. I always thought I had to choose, but this idea includes both, and the comparison of the two and dual existing truths. You will understand further when you read my proposal :) WHAT'S NEXT: Through trying to write the first draft of my proposal and the group talk today, things I need to think about further were brought to my attention such as who my audience is, what subjects do I want to use, how do I choose them, more details about my process etc. I'm not sure the best way to discover these things! I'm guessing that after I'm finished revising my proposal for tomorrow night, I might have a better idea of what my weekend homework should be.

Night Photography

WEEK 4

WHAT I DID: This week i explored night time and long exposure photography. I am not done and intend to explore this more in the coming week. I have done light painting but that was the extent of my night photography in the past. I intimidates me because I don't have experience, I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't feel confidence that success will happen. Others seemed semi-impressed by my first attempt so I guess there's hope for me. I have seen many examples of this kind of photography, but never actually tried it. I decide to give it a shot because I am very interested in it and it's something new and uncomfortable. The pictures posted above are a few of what I took this week.
WHAT I DISCOVERED: That I have a lot of learning to do. I read about exposure times that were a number of hours, but discovered that the settings on my camera go from 30 sec to bulb. Meaning that I normally don't take photos under 1/60th of a sec and most are much faster so the pictures I took this week were no more than 30 sec exposures. I'm not sure if there is a special setting on my camera to do longer exposure times since on bulb i'd have to sit there and hold the trigger down- but i want to figure this out. 30 secs is a lot of time and so i'm having trouble visualizing an hour long exposure (other than stars) since i only read about it. I read about a guy who used a pinhole camera to do a 6 month exposure because he was interested in recording the pathway of the sun. I like the idea of long exposures because you get to see this hidden world within the real world that you're used to. If it weren't for the camera this wouldn't be possible. Its like this fantasy world hidden in the real world- not something I fabricated.
WHAT'S NEXT: Realizing my lack of technical knowledge in this subject and seeing that the information is slightly difficult to find online, I ordered a book which should be here the beginning of next week. I realize that a lot of finding success in this is trial and error, so more experimenting is in order. I will do more photos this weekend and see what happens. I also read about the use of filters to block the majority of light so that longer exposures were possible but the name of the filter wasn't mentioned. Maybe Huron Camera would know...

WHAT:
I would like to explore the passing of time through pathways made by the movement light, nature and living things in order record the changes that time creates.

I would like to unveil the beauty of fantasy worlds hidden inside the real world
I would like to open up the lives of people who have made a career out of saving and rescuing those who don't have a voice: animals, and share their experiences with the world.
WHY:
It is hard to notice change unless it is recorded. Seasons make the same land look like a different place. One walks into physical places like the white houses and wonders who has stepped in the exact place. It is intriguing to record these things on a small scale.

Night and lighting transforms surroundings into places that seem scary or magical. It excites me to show images of worlds that people walk by and don't realize that they exist.

I am personally interested in who these people are and what drives them to do what they do. I feel that they are mostly anonymous to the general public and I believe my desire to tell their stories will give them recognition they deserve, make them feel appreciated and educate people who view my work.
HOW:
By recording people and places evolving and moving through time using photography- long exposure and visitng the same people/places multiple times in intervals.
By the use of night and long exposure photography

By making contacts with people, places, and organizations related to the subject and photographing on the job actions shots, portraits, and audio recording interviews with the intention of creating a book of photos paired with feature stories.

Question: Are we ever going to get feedback on our summer homework assignments? I feel like I put a lot of thought into those ideas and I've been waiting to hear thoughts about them.

week 3

WHAT I DID: This week I went out shooting with a focus on color/shape, and people/animals. I got some decent shots in both categories and had a lot of fun doing it. I encountered the dreaded reaction of strangers you run into while out exploring. I had the "you're on my property- what are you doing?" situation which turned out fine once I explained myself and listened to stories of less respectful trespassers. I also had a more positive experience of a welcoming family with children who were excited by my presence because it gave the kids an opportunity to tell me all about their "pets" being the neighbor's cows. This led to me fulfilling my original goal of focusing on the relationship between and people and animals and let me capture much better/more interesting images than if i had been to afraid to knock on their door. I received mixed reviews on these images. Positive things included: pretty, beautiful, well-done, technically good, a shown level of difficulty, that I seem comfortable with this (I would argue against that). I guarantee you if I put these images up in a photography class that they would not be as generous with the technical praise. I'm glad I've had those kinds of courses so that I'm aware of that. Negative things included: lack of meaning, that it didn't seem like "me" (no offense, but none you actually "know" me at all). My favorite comment was that one of them was "too perfect"- by giggling Sean. I know that meant something similar to lack of meaning, but I value technical quality and challenging myself technically, so I took that as a partial compliment.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: What I discovered from the shooting experience is that I still do really enjoy that kind of shooting. I make connections with people that I would never make if it weren't for the lens between us. The act of "finding" the picture is exciting. It's a difficult thing to get the right picture as it's happening without letting it pass you by. I definitely value the act of telling people's individual, real stories. Since I did take two different styles of photographs, I analyzed what I like about each of them and discovered that the reason I like to take close-ups of shapes and colors is because it's easy. There are endless possibilities- it can be found everywhere, I've got the technique down, and it relaxes me. However, the other pictures involving moving, living things are a but more stressful. For that, one has to be on their toes, ready for anything, willing to knock on doors, as questions, be a director. This is much harder for me and I had less "successful" pics in this category because it's harder to do. I'm happy people thought from the result that I'm comfortable with this process, but I'm really not and would like to improve significantly. This kind of photography is where I came from and what I thought I would do as a career at one time. I'm not sure if it's still what I want to do, but it's not off the table.

WHAT'S NEXT: Since what I explored this week is only one path, it's time to explore the unknown path. Sean suggested I take some night/long exposures with minimal light. I really like the idea. I have less experience with this and may have less success to display. Other suggestions were made to me that I'm pondering and exploring also. I'm toying with ways to bring my two loves together, or if that's a possibility/good idea. Erica and I talked about some ways to do that which may be what I play with next weekend. I'm thinking if I could bring realism, fantasy, beauty, meaning, and quality together it would be the perfect project? Who knows at this point. Or maybe I need to give my imagination a chance but my fear is that since I don't have the experience with it that my work will be difficult and turn out badly.

Here are a few of the pics I took- some of the colors aren't as bright after I saved them for the web.

WEEK 2

WHAT I DID
In the past week, I spent 5 hours doing my weekend assignment experimenting with colored light and shape. I spent 3 hours looking up, finding, and browsing books at the library, and a couple hours thinking and processing what direction I want to take. The books I got were works of the photographers Eric Meola and Howard Schatz. I feel like both the library and internet searches have negative and positive aspects. I was frustrated with the quality of work that is in the section I was looking in. I feel like books are great for history- knowing how photography has evolved. However, the quality of both amateur and professional photography has increased significantly since most of the books in the library have been published that the photos seem irrelevant to me. Most photographers are uploading their work to websites, not publishing books. Remarkably, I was excited to come across the Schatz book because long ago I had torn a photo out of one of my American Photo magazines but had no idea what the artist's name was. The same photo was in this book and now I have a larger resource for that type of photography. I think it's harder for me to find good material in the library, but when I do, I have a larger set of images and a name to associate them with. I get frustrated on the internet when I find the perfect photo, but it was posted by some kid on myspace who got it from his friend and I have no way of finding who the original creator is. Here are my favorite Meola images:



Best of Schatz:




WHAT I FOUND/DISCOVERED:
I thought a lot about my struggle to pick between going out and finding the pictures versus staying in the studio and making the pictures. My reasoning for maybe staying in the studio is to have control of the lighting and focus on color and shape. I discovered that I am drawn to these two books of very different subject matter for the same reason: they both have an intense focus on shape and color, but the first one consists of recording another place/culture that already exists in the world, and in the second one the subject is completely fabricated. I love the look of both but I find the idea of sharing with an audience a world that already exists but if it weren't for me bringing it to them and showing them, maybe they wouldn't know about it or be able to see it. That seems more important and meaningful to me than making pretty pictures. I realized there's no reason why telling a story or sharing my explorations can't also be beautiful, and maybe it's more beautiful because it's real. My conversation with Sean helped me to see that I can still focus on color and shape or play with colored filters in order to alter the mood of the image.

WHAT'S NEXT:
I think what's next is to get comfortable shooting again. It's been a while since I've shot anything and an even longer time since I went out into the world with a camera in hand. Most of the shooting I did last year was indoors with artificial lighting, or documenting of other artwork. Though I'm sure color and shape will play a part in what I do, I could still make it the main focus or have it be a secondary consideration to another subject. I think the next step is to go out and do a little shooting while splitting my focus. I should designate part of my shooting time for capturing color/colored light/interesting shapes and the other part of the time for shooting people/animals etc. At this point in time I don't want to come back with hundreds of photos to go through, but I will consider it a step in the right direction to get out and shoot.

week 1

What I've done so far is collect images (95% photographs) which I have in one folder on my desktop. I also have photography books that are full of inspiring images. I'm considering scanning the best ones to add to my folder so that I have everything in one place. I've looked through these photos and considered common themes and styles. I feel like putting all the images in one place really helped me find commonalities in what intrigues me. The images shown are from my collection of inspiration. The car image is great because of the shine from the chrome and red paint. I love the roundness of the car and the tones of the photo causing it to have a vintage look. With the woman, I have an emotional attachment to black and white photos. I love the lighting set up in the background causing the corners to fade into darkness and i love the way the light falls across her body. The lingerie gives it sexiness, but holding the tie around her neck makes you think about an underlying message. The third photo is light painting/ light drawing. I love colored/ florescent lighting and the concept of painting with light is so great because without the photo, you would miss the artwork since it's only present for a number of seconds. I am not a fan of temporary artwork, but photographing preserves it and makes it permanent. I'm torn because I love the concept of exploring the world with a camera as a photojournalist, but these things peak my interest also and I'm having a hard time deciding which direction to go in. I most likely won't follow the role of an explorer due to lack of money for travel and supplies, so I don't know if I should still be considering it or just focusing on projects that can be done cheaply and locally. I think my next step is to continue collecting all different photos and adding them to my collection. I should also make a list of more specific interests even if it's long so that I have a real list not just saying "stuff that has to do with light." I have concerns about space, funding, structure, time which may be questions for a private meeting. I could make a list of questions in order to be prepared for that. My project for Tues involves some low key experimenting so that's a starting point but I'm not sure where to go after that without asking more questions of myself and in general.