week 11

Funky lamps that inspire me: uploading the pics isn't working for some reason. it shows up as html and an error message. i
ll keep trying.

What i did: this week i shared my new project idea with peers who brought up some good questions and feedback. I found myself doing a lot of things I had done for the other project as far as searching inspirational pictures and thinking about what topics i really want to include in the finished product. I've been working on making the first lamp but it's been going much slower than i originally anticipated. I always think things are simple and don't include time for things going wrong or forget about things like glue having to set overnight but not being able to figure out the next part until the current step is finished. These things always happen when you havent done something before, but somehow i always forget. I have parts of the base done- covered, painted, but they aren't assembled together yet. I've made the frame for the shade in the woodshop which took a few hours. I've stretched canvas over it so I can paint on it. That was a big trial and error mountain to climb. Since the frame is a weird shape and i don't sew, and canvas isn't stretchy... i had a hard time. I debated having my mom help me put darts in it which wasn't how i wanted it to look. I finally figured out how to cut it the right shape so it would work but it took like 8 hours just to figure that one thing out and its far from perfect.

what i discovered: that i'm a dumbass and i always am able to get done less than i had hoped and then i'm disappointed in myself. This week confirmed for me something that happened last year when i made lamps- that each lamp may have to be made more than once. Last year my first tries were horrible failures that didnt look good and didnt function well. However, my second attempts were so much better than it was worth it to do everything twice. I suspect this is the case for IP. After each lamp is produced I need to get feedback and then assess whether to leave it, modify it, or try again. I'm ok with this because I enjoy this kind of work and am really passionate about what i'm doing.

what's next: i need to finish this lamp to the best of my ability so people can tell me how to fix it or redo it. I'm not really sure what's after that.

WEEK 10

WHAT I DID: Last Fri I did a photo shoot and got what I wanted to capture. I'll be adding it to my portfolio. These photos are posted above. I couldn't muster up the courage to go back into the Harley dealership with a camera. I met with a biker from the HOG charter and talked to him about himself and the project.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: I hate this. It totally sucks. Biker Dave was a really nice guy. I learned a lot about him and the biker world. But, I was uncomfortable and wishing it was over the whole time. As for photographing him- in order to get him doing his hobbies in a timely manner it was unavoidable that I would have to go out of town to a house in the middle of nowhere to be alone with a guy who is 3 times my size and owns guns and my conscious told me that was not a good idea. I emailed the class to see if anyone would go with me and no one volunteered. I'm not blaming them- I know how busy everyone is and I would've felt uncomfortable even if I had someone with me. I know not every situation would be this dramatic, but it got me thinking about how a huge portion of this project is spent thinking about who to get, finding people, getting people to meet me which is around their schedule, getting them to talk to me, setting up a shoot on their schedule, and only spending an hour or two per person actually making images. This is not how I want to spend my time. I've been dreading this thing called my IP project and that's not how I want to feel about it. It was too much all about other people and not fun for me at all. If this project should be one thing it should be fun- at least sometimes :)

WHAT'S NEXT: I've changed my project. I picked something that was about me, that I would enjoy every second working on it and is for the most part not dependent on other people. And how do I feel you ask? Relieved. Excited. Nervous. Nervous because I feel like every project idea I had in the beginning wasn't good enough because it didn't have some world purpose or deep meaning that I could ramble on about. I am one of few words and no project that I enjoy making will come with that ability. That's not what art is about to me. I get inspired by visual elements and it's these visual elements that are the main motivation for my art making. So for my project I'm going to do a series of 5-10 (I haven't decided yet) photo sets. Each one will be about a different thing that is personally important to me or inspires me visually. I will also be making a lamp to go along with each photo set inspired by that topic or the photos themselves. One of the photo shoots I had set up for my last project is still relevant to the new project so that's still happening. This week I'll be working on the first lamp, the new project statement and thinking about how to progress- either making sketches for another lamp or setting up a photo shoot.

Website

Here's the website I've been working on. I'm still not sure about the project statement and participation paragraph. If anyone has suggested wording or suggestions about other things having to do with the site please let me know. Thanks a bunch

http://www.wix.com/laurenno/photo

WEEK 9

WHAT I DID: I had the flu :( but am feeling better and feeling ready to work. I finished the website but would like to revise the writing of the project statement before I start spreading it around. I think I have too many photos on it also and may reduce the number of galleries/try to have only the photos i'm the most proud of on it. I had a meeting yesterday with a girl in IP about participating in my project. I wasn't sure I wanted to use people in IP, but it has been suggested that I talk to her multiple times, so why not? I really enjoyed our conversation and I'm looking forward to photographing her. The girl I've been trying to photograph agreed to shoot the first photograph this afternoon and luckily it's sunny so I'm in good shape. I totally thought I wasn't going to get a response from the biker charter, but yesterday I finally did. I received an email with a name and a phone number of an interested member. I mustered my guts together and called him last night. He seemed really nice and excited and agreed to meet me for lunch on Tuesday to talk about the project. He said he is going to become the president of the charter in January and would probably be riding his harley to our meeting, so I'll come with a camera and hopefully get a few good shots right off the bat. I was kind of disappointed that he doesn't have a day job, but maybe I'll find something else non-harley related about him without too much trouble.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: That this project isn't a bad idea (which i have wondered about from time to time) but that it may turn out to be different than I originally imagined. I know that that happens a lot with art projects, but it's kind of hard to deal with internally. There's an element of feeling out of control which goes against my personality a little bit. At this moment in time I'm thinking it's unlikely I'll use crazy set ups of artificial colored lights and what not, but I still may use traditional studio set ups sometimes. I need to get familiar with what equipment is available to me. Right now the calendar is my friend- I'm trying to schedule things and have ideas of how to do productive things associated with my project in between. I've felt really busy these past few weeks, but not enough of it was IP related it seems to me so I'm trying to move forward and be better about time management. Time feels like it's moving so fast right now. I'm happy to finally move along with a first connection- it makes me feel like I haven't failed.

WHAT'S NEXT: Taking some goddamn pictures finally! I'll always be looking for new people/ new ways to make connections, but I know I need to be taking pictures too so hopefully the project keeps progressing where both happen simultaneously. After I make a few changes to the website I'll post the link here.

week 8

wow yeah so i got wrapped up in halloween festivities with my family and posting a blog totally slipped my mind... oops.

WHAT I DID: I spent like 8 hours or more working on getting a website up. i've had conversations with both peers, professors, and family and everyone felt that walking up to someone and asking them to participate in my project is very awkward and ineffective. i knew it is a high stress thing for me and i don't do well in those situations. so long story short, i'm working on getting up a website which includes my photography portfolio, a short bio, a project statement, clarity on what participating involves, contact info, etc. so that not only can i connect to people electronically, but if i meet someone in person i'm interested in i can refer them to the website where they can learn about me, see my work, think about participation, etc. i think this will establish somewhat of a comfort level which is important. i suck at websites and i don't have any money, so i looked for a site that hosts for free and has easy building tools. slightly after that, my old computer which has my photo archive i.e. my entire portfolio died. i spent the next few days with the IT people trying to see if it can be fixed/recovering my files. it is now six feet under, but thankfully i did get my old photos back and had gotten a new computer last year which makes it possible for my life to go on.

WHAT I DISCOVERED/DIDNT DO: people are not reliable. they get sick, blow you off, don't answer your messages. i was super naive to think the first 2 people i asked, even after one said "she was committed" would work out in a timely fashion. therefore, we have a crit on thurs and i do not yet have any photos. i'm sure my website will be done by then and i could get feedback on that possibly- i'm not sure if that's ok. i've set up meetings this week with 2 people whom i hope will participate, but i'm a little down, so i don't expect anything. maybe i will change this whole thing to self portraits... kidding- or am i?

WHAT'S NEXT: that timeline i made before is totally worthless. it was a good idea to make one, but in my situation it doesn't seem practical. i'm really hoping i get to do a photo shoot of someone this week. i definitely will finish the website, start posting the link in different places, emailing large groups the link etc. and reach a lot more people very quickly so that i can get serious responses instead of someone saying ok becausee i'm standing there asking with puppy dog eyes. ugh.

week 7

WHAT I DID: NOT A LOT! but i always feel like i didn't do enough. i thought i would connect with people aka find subjects to photograph over break but i didn't. i spent like an hour contemplating what to put on my timeline draft, and then another hour writing it out, then scribbling out parts and moving them around, then staring at it and wondering if i can actually accomplish what's on there or if I'm being lazy and should add more, then typing it up. hi- I'm Lauren, the professional worrier- nice to meet you. I spent studio time talking to people and explaining my project. I've been getting very different feedback about who my subjects should be. In response to this feedback i decided that for my December review I'd like to get through the whole process with 2 people. if it turns out to be more that's great. I'm going to start with a girl I've seen before who is a similar age and will be open to modeling. I've talked to her once before this project, about myself- not her and she is not in IP. I set up an interview with her tomorrow. since I've seen her before i already know what my first impression photo will be and through talking to her I'll find out what the second photo will be. this is the method i originally planned to use when i thought of the idea. the second person i use i hope will be an older male outside of the school environment and i plan to do my method in reverse. this means i seek out someone with a specific hobby, then find out another aspect of them, possibly their day job if they aren't lucky enough to do their hobby for a living- but this is a more difficult task to pull off. I felt guilty for being too chicken shit to seek out someone during break, so today i mustered up some bravery and went into the Harley-Davidson dealer!!! i know i look like i could be a biker sometimes, but I'm not so it is a really big deal. i guess i did do some things in the last 2 days- yay for guilt.

WHAT I DISCOVERED: i discovered that talking to strangers IS scary. but i knew that. it's not as scary as it is in my mind, but it's still scary. I'm pretty sure it was obvious i was nervous. they were pretty nice to me for the most part. most of the staff said they'd be willing to get their portraits taken and gave me their business cards so i can explain further via email. i had a couple guys who immediately said "no,no, no I'm not photogenic" ha ha. here's what i hate about this kind of stuff:
-when you try to explain your project and people just stare at you funny and then go "why would you want to do that?" which happened with the owner.
-when people project onto you what they think you're project should be such as "ooohhhh you know what would be soooooo cool? if you got us all in a row and did like a big group shot!" because i don't want the job of bursting the bubble of the people who are willing to help me with my project by saying "no, that's not what i want- you don't get it."
The owner said he would be willing to participate but kind of acted like "why can't you just take my picture now, and then it's done" he looked at me like I'm insane when i said i wanted to meet with the same person 3 different times.
I guess he leads meetings of people who are into harleys and there's a meeting this Sunday. He said it wouldn't be appropriate for me to come but said he would ask if there was anyone interested in participating in my project which is awesome. if i got someone who is super into bikes but has a totally different day job - that would be exactly what I'm looking for.
so here's the problems:
-I have a man speaking for me that doesn't really have any understanding of the project i want to do, but he's reaching out to a group i wouldn't have access to if i hadn't met him.
-i have all these biker mechanics who are totally willing to participate (i think) and might be confused/disappointed if i never use them. It's possible that if i explain the project further via email that they won't be interested anymore though... but unless i get a club person or search another venue i might not have the liberty to be choosy.
-lots of people thought maybe i should immerse myself in a subculture and reveal that though they look similar, they are very different people. that wasn't my original idea, but this biker world seems like a rich environment, and when i left the place i had this feeling like picking just one person to represent the biker stereotype is kind of unfair. my favorite novel was written by a photojournalist who did her Harvard senior thesis on strippers... i like strippers but spending 4 months photographing them seemed the opposite of appealing. When i met these guys today, i felt excited and intrigued, and REALLY REALLY AWKWARD. hopefully whatever my project manifests into i get more comfortable with it otherwise it'll be miserable.

HERE'S MY TIMELINE: which I'm sure will change :)

10/22-10/26 Make contact with two subjects

Interview subject 1

10/27-11/2 Interview subject 2

Shoot 1^st photo for subject 1

11/3-11/9 Shoot 1^st photo for subject 2

Plan & prepare for 2^nd photo for subject 1

11/10-11/16 Shoot 2^nd photo for subject 1

Plan & prepare for 2^nd photo for subject 2

11/17-11/23 Shoot 2^nd photo for subject 2

Review and edit all photos

11/24-11/30 Print all photos

Prepare presentation

12/01-12/07 Continue preparing presentation

Practice presentation

12/08-12/14 Meet with subjects to give prints as gift

Continue practicing presentation

WHAT'S NEXT: my meeting with subject 1 tomorrow, emailing the Harley store owner so he has my contact information and waiting to see if i get replies after the Sunday meeting. If not, then emailing the employees a project explanation and hoping to get volunteers. also, scheduling and shooting the first portrait of my 1st subject. SEE LAUREN TALK TO STRANGERS... NOW SEE LAUREN FOLLOW HER HANDY DANDY SCHEDULE...........

what a mood I'm in...........

week6

WHAT I DID: This week was the first week where I didn't go out and shoot pictures. I focused on thinking about my idea and my proposal. I got a lot of feedback from my family and other students. This week was a lot of thinking and wondering which feels slightly unproductive, but is also necessary sometimes. I'm the person who thinks and thinks and feels like it's not getting me anywhere, and then while I'm doing something unrelated like taking a shower or cleaning my apartment, a light bulb goes on and it all makes sense. That's kind of what happened with deciding my idea- I was so frustrated, and then one day it made sense.
WHAT I DISCOVERED through the thinking this week is that my proposal was fairly clear. It seemed that it was easily understood, and liked- I didn't have anyone that didn't get it, didn't like it, or didn't understand it. The feedback I got was a lot of questioning about what I expect or want to happen in different scenarios. Since my project is dependent on the participation of other people, there is a lot of curiousity about "what if they don't want to participate?" or "what if you don't get what you need?" or questions I haven't figured out yet like who I want my subjects to be and what I'm going to ask them. I made a list of potential questions but that will continue to change I'm sure.
WHAT'S NEXT: At this point I've done all the thinking I can handle at the moment. It's time to get back to the doing while I wait for that lightbulb to turn on in the shower. It's hard to account for time spent thinking- because it never stops. I wake up in the middle of the night and thats what I'm thinking about. I chose this project because it's something that's very interesting to me, but it's way outside of my comfort zone to talk to people I don't know. I hope that this project will help me grow as a person and get over my fears, but it's possible that I won't be able to make myself do this and end up changing or modifying the project. I hope that trying to push myself turns out to be rewarding, even if I plan to take 5 steps and end up only taking 2. It's time to attempt to talk to a couple people and see how it goes. That is my weekend homework.

Here are some creative portraits I like that I found this week:

By Philippe Roy

By Simon Green
By Igor Motl
By Annie Leibovitz from her "Stars in Wonderland" series